Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
my liver is dry heaving
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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