he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Who put my cat in the fridge?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
