It's like God shit irony all over that family
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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