omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We left the knife in your bed.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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