what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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