is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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