I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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