i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
