Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
