Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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