Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
