My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
