my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
