Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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