Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
