I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My balls are so social today.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
