So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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