does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
