I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
