I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
