What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
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