that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
