My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Randomize
