On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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