I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
