Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
