Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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