I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
