I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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