I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
