Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
