He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
