8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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