dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
