Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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