do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
