This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
