Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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