So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Someone signed my nipple.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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