Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
