Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
