When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
