i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
