i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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