We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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