You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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