how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
