I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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