also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
