He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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