I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
