sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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