Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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